NT Application Paper

This is the part of the paper, the disclaimers, that I didn't turn in. It was more for me, I guess...

Let me start out with my disclaimers. First of all, I hate assignments like this one. Yes, I just said what you thought I just said. I see their value—yet this sort of assignment also seems like a sort of a crutch. That is, if one is not regularly applying scripture to one’s life, an assignment of this sort can help one build new, strong habits. Yet, what happens when you make someone who is whole use a crutch? It does not help him, but causes him to stumble, and walking becomes tedious. That is what application-type papers are like to me. I am accustomed to pondering and applying doctrines of the gospel into my life, and my applications are usually little things that build up and make a difference over time. It is completely foreign to me to, for the set time of a week,  choose a scripture to apply. In spirit, it is the same thing that I do, but in practice, it is an unnatural one for me.

Secondly, I did not have enough to give in order to follow the instructions “correctly” on this assignment. My brother, who was diagnosed with cancer last February, died in October, I have a new baby sister, and I am a completely different person now than I was before. These have been the biggest life-changing events I have ever experienced. My  life is still changing rapidly, and this sort of assignment is utterly ridiculous at a time like this. I just do not have the energy to jump through hoops that do not give me the advantages that they are designed for. And I know full well that, no matter what my teachers expect from me, God accepts the offering of my heart and soul and does not expect me to “run faster than I have strength” (see Mosiah 4:27).

With that said, you may wonder why I did not come and talk to you of these things. There are two reasons for that. One, I literally could not—I am not currently able to do as much as I usually can. I am better at writing than approaching people at the best of times. And two, I just don’t care anymore. I know where I stand with God, I know who I am, I know where I am going, and I know what I need to do to get there. I started the semester already at my breaking point, and I have reached a point where I am literally doing all I can. It, therefore, seems pointless to add to my emotional load by bothering about this assignment more than I need to.